Hope Springs Eternal

ghana

2007-05-28T19:06:00.000-05:00

Well, it's my third night here. It's hot. My mom calls Alabama "africa hot" in the summer. She has no idea. It's crazy here. I love it, but the running water and electricity are unreliable. So far we have gone to Odomasi Krobo, a little village. It was cool. It's the bead capital. Women collect glass and recycle it into little beads for crafts. It's cool. We got to see the whole process. I bought some agagite beads. Beautiful.
Anyway, tomorrow we finally get to go to Cape Coast to see the place I'll be staying. I'm ready to get there and settle in a bit.

The food is ok. Very starchy. I ate a fish head and fufu today. Fufu is a sticky starchy thing. Not crazy about either.

God is all over Ghana. The people are crazy reliant on Him for everything. So far that's my favorite part. The poverty is startling. It's feel very surreal to see people who have so little yet still smile.

I am like a rock star in the streets. Everyone stares and calls Obruni! White woman!
I hope I can build some friendships with the locals in Cape Coast. I hate being removed from them because of color and language. although they speak english, I still have trouble understanding most of what is said. It's like a cross between a tribal language and British english. Weird.
Anyway, tomorrow's another day. And I must sleep. Hugs and love from Accra, Ghana.

You shake my nerves and you rattle . . .

2007-04-20T15:18:00.000-05:00

Black dude riding his bike in the park sang this line at the top of his lungs. I was joyously reveling in the sunshine, the fifty degree weather, and soaking in the vitamin C burst. I couldn't help but sing back--'that kind of love drives a man insane'.

Ahh, Boston! Isn't it nice to feel the sun on your face again? It's been a long time coming.

Three weeks of school left. Four final projects. One capstone course. Seven weeks of internship. One yellow fever shot. One day of skydiving. I'm ticking things off my to-do list these days.

Speaking of lists:
For R:
• buy your cap and gown
• get your commencement tickets
• finalize your website
• do one last Homework manager
• buy me a cup of tea at the 'bucks
• go to aquarium with moms
• rock the finance final
• send an initial email to capstone

Hehe, you didn't think I'd post it, did you?
Goodness, gracious, GREAT BALLS of Fire!

Consumed

2007-03-21T15:05:00.000-05:00

This is how it feels to be loved
so much that I cause no offense when I don't call back right away.

This is what is it to know that my relationship
with the God of the universe doesn't suffer just because I
haven't been to church in 6 weeks.

This is how I know that my heart is in the right place
when the sacrifices I make are motivated by my loyalties.

This is how I show my trust when I rest, not fret that I still don't have a job lined up.

This is what it means to be consumed by something bigger than me and my dreams.

Spring has arrived

2007-03-12T15:45:00.000-05:00

The snow and ice are melting off of the streets of Boston. Can't say that I will miss it. I think it got up to fifty today. Nice to shed the down coat and simply wear a fleece to class.

Well, I'm on the home stretch. Nine weeks left. Unbelievable to think that I will have my degree in nine more weeks.

I'm getting ready for Ghana-at least in my head. I still have a lot of work to do before I leave in late May. It will all come together nicely, I'm sure.

All is well. Mom is doing well. Mike was here for spring break and we had so much fun seeing Boston. That's all of my news. Nothing much to say these days . . .just enjoying life and trying to finish well.

That's more like it!

2007-02-14T10:51:00.000-06:00

Just thinking of moving to Boston used to conjure up all sorts of images of snow drifts, wet streets, and bundling up against the elements. Honestly, there have been many days when I have been seriously disappointed that we have had such a mild winter(and I even prayed for a mild winter). But, the winter up here has been milder than Nashville winters, and somehow that's just not right. UNTIL TODAY>>>>>>A real nor'easter!! And it's beautiful. It's kind of gross, in a fun way, walking around in all of the sloshy grey goo on the sidewalks, but I have to say that I'm loving it. And I'm glad it hasn't been like this ALL winter. As Bono would say "you don't alway get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need!"

:) So, HAPPY Valentines Day to you! Isn't it amazing that the God of all love--loves us? I hope His love surrounds you, fills you from the tops of your hearts to the bottoms of your souls. I pray that you feel NO lonlieness today as you cuddle up in the arms of the father. I pray you know that you are loved by me and by many others. Blessings and hugs to you!
Denise

Stru--gglin!

2007-02-05T13:56:00.000-06:00

Omigosh-I have a test tonight that I am totally not ready for!!!! Thanks to the excitement of Payton's big win last night, I managed to effectively procrastinate. Now, I will pay the piper.

Four hours before the test!! PRAY PEOPLE PRAY. :)

True story

2007-01-26T11:23:00.000-06:00

He looked me in the eye. "Can I ask you something, Denise? To be honest, I don't really know how to ask you this."
I laughed and told him he could ask me anything. I didn't mind. A thousand things that he might ask me went scurrying through my head. I was there to talk about internships and the future of my career. The conversation had up to this point had been small talk.
"Who are you?" my professor asked.
I didn't know how to answer. His opinion of my faith and all that I have stood for these last few months hinged on my answer. For a brief second, I turned my head to look out the window of his ninth story office in Boston. Then I looked back and met his gaze.
"I'm just a Christian girl trying to do something good with my life," I said.
On many levels, I'll never know if it was the right answer.

Didn't take long for me. . .

2007-01-24T16:33:00.000-06:00

to see the snow fall and cover Boston in a blanket of white.
to rejoin life at the library.
to be late to finance class.
to slip on black ice.
to hear someone criticize me for being "conservative."
to be amazed at how much love I have for my classmates.
to look up from my computer and realize I've been working for 10 hours on one project.
to feel sad about the pervasive discontentedness of most everyone I meet here.
to wake up at 5 am praying for their salvation.
to feel overwhelmed by how much work I have to do.
to start worrying about where I'll work.
to remember why I came to Boston in the first place.

The best part of Emerson . . .

2007-01-21T12:12:00.000-06:00

next to the quality education, of course, is the perk of free or next to free tickets to theatre productions in Boston. Today I'm going to see the Russian Ballet "Cinderella" for $5. It's the company's North American Debut and I have heard that it's wonderful. Last semester, I saw Don Quixote (the ballet) for free and had almost front row seats. I also saw High Fidelity (pre-broadway), which was hilarious and wonderful. So, I wish you all were here to see Cinderella with me. Last night I walked past the theatre, and up pulled BMW SUV. A little girl about four, stepped out of the backseat all dressed up in a pink dress and a tiara. Her dad came around from the front and acted like her prince, taking her to the ballet. It was so cute! While I won't actually be wearing a tiara, you can bet I'll be pretending that I'm Cinderella. From rags to riches, from abuse to retribution, from lonlieness to being pursued by a prince, that's the story of our life in Christ.

Love you guys!

Day three

2007-01-19T12:58:00.000-06:00

Ever notice that the third day is always the hardest? When I fast, day three is the worst. When I'm studying, day three is the hardest to press in and be diligent. When I'm training for a race, day three is when the run is the hardest. I'm been back in Boston for three days, and the tell-tale signs are all showing. I feel pulled apart as I adjust to life in Boston. My body is readjusting to the time difference, the temperature, and the noise. Emotionally, I feel unsure of myself today. Why am I here again? What is my role in the city? After weeks of being surrounded by my family and friends, I am thown back into an environment without a strong support network. I feel alone. I know that I am not, yet I still feel it. With the weekend almost here, I find myself longing for my family, my new friends, my church, and for Nala. :) Someone told me during the break, that maybe God is doing something in me here in Boston that he couldn't do in me at home. She said that some things in the Spirit can only be accomplished in times of isolation. I hope that it is true. Being made more like Christ would make the gloomyness of today seem a lot more worthwhile.

For your viewing pleasure, more pics of the last few months:

Mom and I in D.C. in August

Mike and Jeremy at the bowling alley

Jen-nay, Jaime, and I

Da boys of da Gate: Dana and Jeremy

CJ and Amy

Me and Shel

Working it for the camera! :)

Love is a mystery (or My Best Friend's Wedding)

2007-01-17T12:47:00.000-06:00

Many of you have asked about Wendy's wedding. The event was one to remember. Just days before Christmas, she vowed her undying love to Steve in a little church in Brentwood. Standing next to her as she said her vows, I was reminded of our covenant relationship with Christ. Come what may and all feelings aside, the covenant we have with Him is a lasting one. Love defies all logic and reason. While I marvel at the mystery of human love, I revel in the mystery of divine love. Soaking up the truth that I am loved by the One who embodies love, who created love, and who lives in love with me.

The perfect sky. A little pink, a little grey, a little happy, a little sad. The ending of one day, the beginning of the first night of the rest of her life.

Last chance to say no . . .

The happy couple.

Back in Beantown

2007-01-16T21:55:00.000-06:00

Holy moly, it's cold here! It's great to be back, but it sure is chilly! I really hope it snows soon. I want to see a for real nor'easter while I'm here. I had a layover in Philly today, and on the second flight, we flew over New York City. As I looked down on Manhattan, I was amazed at how huge it looked, even from the sky. The man sitting next to me on that flight introduced himself and made small talk with me. He asked the usual questions and then asked me what kind of music I liked. I smiled to myself, knowing that my answer was going to surprise him. Christian music isn't exactly the usual answer. Anyway, my answer took the conversation in a direction that surprised me. He told me all about growing up in Puerto Rico as an altar boy, and how Catholicism has shaped his life. Then he asked me what was the difference between what I believed and what he believed. So, somewhere over the state of New York, I told Jose about Jesus, the High Priest and how his life, death and resurrection provided all that we need for the absolution of our sins. He seemed so eager to believe that he didn't need a priest from the church to talk to God. I hope our conversation stirred something up in him that will spur him to seek out more about Jesus and His role as priest. Would you pray for Jose, please?

I was so excited to see my roommates tonight. The three of them are truly a gift from heaven. I can't tell you how much it means to me to come back to three spirit-filled women who love Jesus so deeply.

Tonight, I walked to the grocery store and got a few essentials to get through the week. The weirdest part of shopping in Boston is learning to buy only what you have the strength to carry home. No trunk to throw your groceries in! By the time I got back to the house, I was ready to eat everything I had just bought.

Tomorrow, the second semester begins. I was supposed to have class tonight, but the schedule changed. I have such a sense of peace about being here. This is what it feels like, I guess, when you know that you are in the center of God's will. I gotta say, it's is a great place to be! I love Boston.

Ohhhh!!! Here's some pictures of the last four weeks of my life!
Ringing in 2007 with worship

New Year's Party

Amy, Suzanne, and me

My amazing friends, new and not so new

Christmas Eve

2006-12-24T20:46:00.000-06:00

The joy of the Christ-child is alive in my heart tonight. I hope it is alive in yours. There are some Christmases when we just never seem to get into the spirit of it all. Even though this one won't be white, it will be filled with colorful moments with family and friends. I've eaten about ten of Amy Frank's amazing chocolate truffles. I've watched several episodes of the Walton's with my momma. I've worshipped with all my heart with my church family. I have cried over hallmark commercials. The lights on our Christmas tree remind me that the Light of the world has come. I love Christmas. And I love you.

Dear Santa,

2006-12-18T13:04:00.000-06:00

This year for Christmas I'm not asking for very much. I was wondering if you could bring just a few things down the chimney. They shouldn't be very heavy to carry and I'm sure that your elves should be able to find time to finish them before Christmas day. Please don't forget them, because I've been a very good girl and I studied hard all semester!
Here's my list:

1. 30 more years to enjoy life with my mom
2. A red bow around Nala's neck
3. Coffee with my dearest friends
4. Hugs from my brother
5. Time to worship with my church family

Thanks Santa and don't forget the Christmas cookies on the table and the carrots for the reindeer.

Denise

Finals hell

2006-12-09T13:48:00.000-06:00

We are in the middle of two straight weeks of final projects, papers and exams. Each day gets harder, more intense, and more frustratingly competitive. After a week of 16 hours days in the Emerson library, the graduate students of the GMCA program went to Sweetwater cafe to attempt to unwind. We have seven more days left before the end of the semester. This program is like the apprentice on speed. I want to quit, but unfortunately I am not a quitter. I wish I was. Then I could get out. I'm tired.

By the way, I chopped my hair. This picture captures the one moment that I smiled this week. And then, only because I was holding an amaretto sour.

Boston's first snow

2006-12-05T18:04:00.000-06:00

It snowed!!! Magical Boston snow. Overnight, the temp. dropped thirty degrees and the sky dropped the white stuff. Apparently, winter sneaks in like a thief in Boston. The cold wind off the hahbah makes my teeth chatter. Ahh, the long cold winter has begun. They tell me I won't be as amused about it come February, but for now I'm all smiles.

All smiles, except for the work, of course. I don't even know why I'm blogging. I have so much work to do that I feel guiltier with every word I type. But, hey, I'm only in Boston once in a lifetime and it should be recorded for posterity, right? Finals can wait.

So I totally in the mood for a margarita with friends, right now. I know Darci and Kim could hook me up. If only I could fly those two up here for the evening.

Oh, I've been invited to a menorrah and merriment party by a Jewish friend. I can't wait to experience the holiday through a different lens. More on that experience to come . . .

Things that make me smile

2006-11-30T15:29:00.000-06:00

I stole this pic from Chandler's myspace. Sorry Chandler. :)
I just love this picture of my friend Michelle and her man!

Coming home

2006-11-27T16:22:00.000-06:00

Those of you who know me really well, know that I love the music of Bryan Duncan. I've always been drawn to his work. His smooth jazz voice just gets me every time. As I was flying into Nashville last week, I had an old song of his running through my head. The lyrics were the song of my heart in that moment:

"There's a saying, your home is where your heart is. My heart believes it's true. But my home's so far away. But no matter where I am or where I'm going, I will make my home with you, til I'm finally home to stay. When I think of home, when I'm tired and feeling homeless, I come to you. You're where my heart is."

I'm finding in these days of adventure in Boston, that my heart is not just in one place, but many. And as I extend my life, my days into new places and new people, my home is wherever you are; the ones I love. My home is Nashville, Boston, Quito, Baja, Jenison, and beyond. My home is where the love of Jesus is. My home is not a place, but an experience. The exquisite experience of loving you and the privilege of being loved by you. As I sit in this computer lab in the middle of Boston, I've never felt so completely at peace and at home.

Flying back in to Boston this morning was amazing. I watched the sun rise somewhere over the southeast, and the colors took my breath away. What a magnificent painter our God is.

My thanksgiving break was a marvelous time. I ate too much and slept too much. I hope you did, too! I did a lot of traveling--flying into Nashville to pick up my mom and drive her to Michigan. Then driving back to Nashville, only to fly out this morning a few hours after getting back from MI. I'm blissfully tired. I have three weeks of school left for this semester. Then I'll be back in Nashville on Dec. 16th for a month. Those of you that I wasn't able to catch over Thanksgiving, I would love to get coffee with you over the Christmas season. I'll be home for a month so let's get together and catch up!

Mom is doing well and thank you for praying! Our fight is not over, and our family is still believing for a miracle of healing.

It's a small world

2006-11-18T11:58:00.000-06:00

So, I've been attending a bible study at MIT, with really smart engineers and post-docs. Within the group, there's a girl who is trying to cure cancer, another who is developing alternative forms of energy, and a guy who speaks fifteen languages!! I feel totally out of my league---but for some reason that only God knows, I'm part of their study, and I think they like me: a crazy, creative-type from Nashville.

This past Tuesday, one of the girls sent out an email with song lyrics that related to her struggles. Bunny trail--Did you know that MIT students have the highest rate of college suicide in the country . . .it's no wonder-you should see the academic pressure these twenty-somethings are under! Anyway, the first of her song lyrics was a song from Steve Fry--my pastor in Nashville. I don't know how she got a hold of his music, but it totally tripped me out. Here I am in Boston, studying the Bible with MIT students and my pastor's influence has spread all the way up here to New England.

It's a small world after all.

This is my world

2006-11-14T23:21:00.000-06:00

Grad school is all about papers and presentations. This is me, Noah, and Jonathan giving a presentation on some random project. Noah and Jon are both part of my capstone group which means that the work I do with them can make or break my success at Emerson. They have become like brothers to me.

TIme Change

2006-11-02T16:16:00.000-06:00

It was dark tonight at 4:15 p.m. At this rate, the sun will go down in Boston at 3-something by Christmas. These short days are crazy to me. By 7 p.m., I feel like I should be in the bed.

The last two weeks have been crazy! Mid-terms, papers, group projects . . . now I know what cramming a two-year grad program into one year really means. I'm loving every minute of it, but I sure have been busy.

On another note, I can't wait for Thanksgiving! I am looking forward to coming home so much. I miss home. I miss Nala. Only 17 more days til I fly home!

All smiles

2006-10-23T18:58:00.000-05:00

Apples and Orchards

2006-10-14T17:31:00.000-05:00

Autumn in Boston is amazing really! The trees look like they are on fire: reds, oranges, yellows. It's a magnificent show. And I got to see the glory of it all today as Katie, David, Megan, and I drove out to New Hampshire to go apple picking! What a riot! It was like being a kid all over again. I picked a peck of apples and hopefully will make a pie with them by the end of the weekend. At last count, Katie and I had eaten twenty apples on the orchard between us. What fun! What friends! What a day! What a contrast to the earlier part of the week when we found out that my Mom's cancer has indeed returned. The disappointed oozed out of every pore of my body. All I wanted to do was come home. But God is our comforter. And I am his willing comfortee. She starts chemo on Monday-it's a different chemo that she hasn't had yet. So there's lots of hope.

I went with my roommates last night to see a movie called "One night with the King". It's the story of Esther. If it comes to Nashville, you should definitely go see it. There a great line in the movie that Esther says in reference to the hard times that she is experiencing. It struck a chord with me. She said "We shouldn't ask questions of our circumstances, we should let the circumstances ask questions of us."
How true. It's not important the trials we are given, it's only important that we examine ourselves and respond with grace, hope, and peace. So, at peace tonight, I walk to the store to buy the ingredients for my apple pie. It's in grace that I thank God for another day. It's in hope that I ask the God who made the apple trees for make my mom's body new. By the way, tomorrow is the year anniversary of Michelle's motorcycle wreck. That's enough to make anyone have hope!!!

p.s. if you haven't had a chance to read Julie's response to my last post, make sure you do so. God is faithful to his people. Thanks for the encouragement Julie!Love you and I'm praying for you and the butterfly.

I hate cancer

2006-10-04T13:20:00.000-05:00

My Mom had some tests run this week on another spot that looks cancerous. The doctors are very concerned that all of the cancer wasn't removed by surgery and destroyed by chemo. We will know more over the next week about what is next and whether or not it really is cancerous. Please pray for her complete healing. Pray for peace for me and my family.

A friend once taught me that a great tool for building faith is rehearsing the things that God has done.

Here is the start of my list:
1. healed my mom from cancer in the liver and shocked the doctors
2. healed me from a tumor
3. healed Michelle's body after the wreck

Please add your story of God's faithfulness. How many stories of God's power can we rehearse together? I need to have my faith built up . . . post your story, and help me remember all that God has done for us.

Trust is a beautiful thing

2006-10-02T14:05:00.000-05:00

When you were a kid, did someone make up stories about the storms so that you wouldn't be scared . . .like that thunder is just Jesus rearranging his furniture, or lightning is God's way of flashing the light switches on and off. Well, my mom used to tell me that the rain was Jesus' tears and that he was crying about all the people that He loves who haven't found Him yet. Well, when I took the last load of luggage out of the subway last night, it was raining pretty steadily. That's when I had a random thought. With a very wet shoulders, I couldn't help but think that Jesus was crying on my shoulder. How lucky I was to have been caught in the rain! It was His way of telling me how deeply he loved Boston and how much he trusted me to be here ministering to this city. After all, I've never cried on someone's shoulder that I didn't trust. Have you?

Heart is where the home is

2006-10-01T16:51:00.000-05:00

Happy October!

You must be praying!! Thank you!! I found a place to live yesterday. It's the cutest light green Victorian house with dark green shutters in Somerville with three Christian girls who went to Tufts university who are now all in their respective medical professions. I'm so excited! It takes some time to lug suitcases on the T, but I should be all moved in by tomorrow. :) Thanks for praying. I feel so blessed, watching God provide my every spoken and unspoken need.

It's been raining all day. A good medium-heavy rain to wash away the dust. I'm starting the fourth week of class tommorrow. I can hardly believe I've been here a full month already. Last night, I went to a dinner party with some MIT students. I've been attending their Bible study on Tuesday nights. I had so much fun. I haven't laughed that hard since I moved to Boston. Friendships are forming, and I couldn't be more grateful for them!

Because of Jesus, I have everything and lack nothing.

Enough

2006-09-29T14:20:00.000-05:00

My first grades came back this week. One A, an A-, and a B+. Not bad, for the first two weeks of grad school.

I found the coolest thing this week . . . my building has roof access! From the rooftop, you can see the whole city. At night, it's like Christmas with all the lights. I love it. What a wonderful discovery!

I'm still looking for a more permanent place to live. Please pray that I will find somewhere soon.

I've had a Caedmon's call song running through my head since I got here to Boston. The gist of the song is about a woman in Ecuador who has very little, no money, no possessions, but she says that Jesus is all she needs. One of the lyrics says "this world calls me poor, I bore my babies on this floor, but He always provides sure as the sun will rise, so I'll sing him songs of praise, cause he keeps me in His gaze."
I feel a little bit like her. I know the one thing that I need. He is enough.

Loving what I have despised

2006-09-24T20:05:00.000-05:00

Sunday night at the library: I've been here most of the day researching for a project due Thursday. I'm really enjoying being back at school. My classes are challenging enough to make me work hard, and the subjects that I'm studying are fascinating. Graduate school is so much better than undergrad! In undergrad, I never had the passion to make school a priority. Now, it's mostly all I think about . . .
It's all consuming, and somehow I don't mind. It's amazing to me how a person can change over time.

My new favorite part of Boston: Haymarket. On Friday and Saturday, there's a fruit market on the North side. Fresh friut, fish, nuts, olives . . . . everything you could ever want and it's so cheap!!! It's become my Saturday afternoon ritual to wander through Haymarket and buy some fresh fruit for the week. It reminds me of the market in Baja, Hungary-why does it always seem like a fresh market is the heartbeat of a city?

Global vs. International

2006-09-11T17:48:00.000-05:00

That's the subject of today's first class. Already, I'm up to my armpits in work. Now, we're getting somewhere! After three weeks of pure vacation, it's a nice feeling to work hard.

I've made some new friends and talked to some people about maybe moving in with them. No class tomorrow, but plenty of work to keep me busy. :)

So, if you had owned a company . . . would you rather be global or have a smaller presence in a few international markets?

Hmmm . . . .

Friday night and nothing to do

2006-09-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

I don't know what to do tonight. You would think in a big city, there would be a hundred things to do. And there are . . . but I don't know what they are. I'm getting used to the campus. I've met some wonderful people. Today, I hung out with Shawna and Gary. Gary is Jewish-not sure about Shawna. But we had a great time going through the orientation stuff together.

As promised, a picture of Boston. So far this is my favorite spot in the city. It's in Christopher Columbus park near Long Wharf on the North side of the city (I think).

Skip-I promised several people that I wouldn't root for the Red Sox while I'm here. But, honestly, this city is so crazy about the Sox, it's kind of tempting. I knew coming in that they were all crazy, but you just can't understand the degree of Red Sox mania until you get here. With Fenway park right around the corner, I may just have to attend a game and break my vow just for the sheer experience of it.

The leaves are already starting to change color and the temperature has dropped five or ten degrees in one week. Fall is going to be amazing.

Orientation is over, and classwork starts on Monday. I gotta admit . . . I'm a bit homesick. But that is sure to pass as I meet more people and get busy with school.

Somebody send me some good ole' Southern sunshine in a bottle, please. :)

Discovering everything anew

2006-09-06T11:40:00.000-05:00

This city is full of suprises. Around every corner is something different and new and exciting. There is definitely an emphasis on healthier living here. I haven't seen anyone here who is overweight. Maybe that's because you walk everywhere! My feet are killing me. :)

School starts tomorrow. I'm excited to meet everyone in my class. We are going on a trolley ride around Boston. Yippee!

Not in Kansas Anymore

2006-09-05T10:22:00.000-05:00

Well, Toto . . .

Boston is beautiful. I like this place. The architecture, the history, the people. Around every corner there's a piece of American history. The city is bustling, but not like NYC. It's got more of a small town feel. The street I'm living on looks very old Victorian. I'll post pictures soon. The people are different, louder, and more combative in their speech. I've run into more verbal sparing matches on the street corners than I've ever seen before. Spiritually, it feels desperate. But, everyone that I've met seems genuine and helpful. I visited the Boston Vineyard on Sunday and ran into two friends from Nashville who are also here for grad degrees. It was great to see some familiar faces.

More pics and updates to come later this week, when I have faster internet service.

Norman's window

2006-07-30T13:02:00.001-05:00

Connecting Buda to Pest, this bridge is one of the single most elegant parts of the city. At the entrance of the bridge, two lions sit in a non-threatening position. Guardians, yes--but they look more like cats to cuddle with than man-eating beasts. At night, the lights on the bridge light the way and draw everyone's eye to it's majestic structure. It's romantic. It's gothic. It's just a bridge, but somehow when it's all lit up, it looks like so much more.

This is a look at the old palace wall. I love the pointy tops of the guard towers. It looks like the way I imagined fairy tales to look like when I was a little girl. Settings like this are what dreams are made of.

Here's some useless info for you--window arches like this are called Norman windows. I don't know why they named them that--I just know that that's their name. Anyway, here am I in a Norman window.

This is St. Matthias Cathedral. It's where the coronation ceremonies took place. Absolutely beautiful inside and out!

So, now that I've been home for a few days, I've had a little time to process and digest this trip. A few takeaways for me:
I think that I'm getting more and more comfortable crossing cultural barriers. I used to be so awkward and unsure of myself in situations where I had to talk to someone from a different culture than my own. I've prayed that I would have a new boldness and be more courageous. This time, I was so comfortable that I really never noticed it. How cool is that!

I'm feel like I'm definitely headed in the right direction. Moving to Boston in a couple of weeks to study Global Marketing is the right step. I've had a couple of moments of doubt along the way, wondering if I've made the right decision. But, the time I spent in Europe confirmed the decision for me. It's a good feeling to have confidence in myself and this decision.

My world is expanding at a rapid rate. My borders are being extended. My heart is growing bigger with new possibilities and new passions.
I feel like I'm on the edge of a whole new adventure. It's an exciting and vulnerable place to be. And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in my life, right now.

The question I face today is how do I live quietly in the states with a heart that wants to be out in the great wide world? Isn't it Paul who said "I have learned the secret of being content in all circumstances" . . .? I should look that passage up and see if he revealed the secret, or if he just talked about possessing it. :)

2006-07-24T18:37:00.000-05:00

This summer's Sozo really goes down in history, for me, as one of the single most powerful weeks of my life. Between praying with a Bulgarian to recieve Christ, to baptizing a Dutch woman in the Sugovica, I am overwhelmed by God and His amazing, life-changing love. Never did I imagine that I would be a part of two so powerful experiences. Jim Davis and I were also able to schedule about 7 or 8 freedom prayer sessions with Eastern and Central Europeans. Each was unique in it's own way, and all were very beneficial I think to the prayees. I was so blessed to be a part of those ministries times. As the word got out through the week, more and more men and women wanted freedom prayer, but time ran out and we weren't able to fit in everyone who asked. But possibly, some hunger was stirred and next time there will be less ground-breaking to do.

Today in Budapest, it rained very hard and we got drenched. Steve G., Ben, Rachel, Adam, and I were running across the bridge when the downpour began. We got soaked from head to foot. Once, we got across the bridge we took shelter in a tunnel. There were a group of tourists from Austria, singing songs in the tunnel, which kept me entertained until the rain let up a bit, and we ran from the tunnel to a coffee shop. We walk in the front door dripping water all over the place. As we sat down, the waiter brought all of us an industrial size roll of paper towels and we desperately tried to dry out a bit. What fun it was. I always seem to have such outrageous adventures in Budapest. Three years ago, I got Rachel and Cameron and I hopelessly lost in the city for three hours. I think today's adventure was a little less frustrating than the previous one.

We are all beautifully tired. The kind of tired that is very satisfying. Hopefully, I can get some sleep on the plane. I wrenched my back today running through the rain. My flip flops have no traction, and my feet slipped out from underneath me at one point. I didn't actually fall, but I hurt my lower back in the moment, so if you think of it, pray for me. It could be a long ride home if my muscles don't relax a little.

So what a trip! I'm more than just a little disappointed to have to come home. I feel like we just got here. As usual, I want to rip my return tickets into a million pieces and stay. I'd really like to visit Timisoara, Romania. I have met so many girls from Timisoara that I've connected with that I would really love to go and do some ministry there.

What have I left out? Umm, the bands were great this year. I missed a couple of them, because of my security shifts, but that's ok. I enjoy the late night concerts at Cafe Sozo much more than the loud concerts from the main stage. I must be getting old. They were just too loud for me. Ya know, my second annual 29th birthday is only 23 days away. Yikes! I feel young though, so maybe that counts for something.

Oh, happiness. My heart is full. I have much to process. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts, pictures, and prayer requests with you. I hope you enjoyed reading half as much as I enjoyed posting. It's fun to share what God is doing with you. I will update a few more times about Sozo over the next couple of day as I remember more stories to tell, so keep checking back.

In the meantime, pray for us as we head back to the states in starting in just under two hours. We should land in Nashville around 7:30 p.m. Tuesday night. Love you all and praying that God blesses you in mighty ways tonight!

2006-07-24T18:29:00.000-05:00

This is Roxi, from Romania with her brand new guitar. I carried this guitar over to Europe on behalf of a friend of mine, Jenna, who got the guitar from friend of hers. The recipient of this great gift is Roxi, one of the festival coordinators. She has been in Baja for two years preparing for the festival. She's been learning to play but was learning on someone else's guitar. She was absolutely thrilled to receive her very own instrument. What a blessing and joy it was to give it to her. A friend of hers said she hasn't let it out of her sight during the last 24 hours, and practically slept with it the night after we gave it to her. God gives good gifts to His children, doesn't he?

We are currently in Budapest. It is 1:30 in the a.m., and we have to be at the airport at 4:00 am. Last night, we wandered around the city and took pictures. This is a shot of the bridge from Buda to Pest.

2006-07-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

This is Mona, a Romanian who was in my freedom prayer class. She and I became very close. Someday, I hope our paths will cross again so that we can minister together. We had a really deep connection.

Cathy and Bruce, our fearless leaders in fearless worship.

Kim, Darci, and me. If you listen closely, you should be able to hear "and friends are friends forever, if the Lords the Lord of them." LOL :P

Jim Davis and Herman from the Netherlands praying for Randy Morgan, the festival visionary.

Rob Still and Steve Garrett leading worship.

Beautiful over the Sugovica

Jesse, Kim, and Adam

Honoring the nations in worship.

An incredible Jesus day

2006-07-21T13:29:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of my class and a Hungarian sunset over the Sugovica.

I taught my second freedom prayer class today. It was so sweet. During the second prayer session with a Dutch woman, I felt like the Lord told me to tell her that He was celebrating over her future baptism. I had never had a conversation with this woman, so I had no idea whether she had been baptized or not. But when I told her what I had heard, she started weeping and explained that she has been sprinkled as a baby, but never baptized and she had been praying for three weeks that someone would come into her life who could baptize her. Soooo, tomorrow we are baptizing her in the Sugovica! I'm so thrilled. As you can imagine, it has been the highlight of my week. And then I prayed for a Serbian man named Igor who is an ex-drug addict. The first thing he said to me in his beautiful broken English was, "I am an addict. I love Jesus. He saved me." OUr prayer time with him was very sweet. The Lord gave us great insight into his life and he was very blessed. So were we.

It's very hot here. Pray for our endurance. Thank you for praying for my courage. I have felt your prayers as I have been bold in ministry and conversation.

Jesus is so sweet to us. I am very blessed to be here and to experience such amazing adventures with the people of God. This morning at worship, we had 9 countries represented on stage. It was absolutely amazing!

May the peace of Jesus go before you today. All my love!

More pics of Baja and friends

2006-07-20T14:57:00.000-05:00

Kim Bischoff and I:

Joseph Watson doing what he loves to do-teach!:

Picture of Baja
The walking street:

City hall:

Typical street in Baja:

The paper store on the corner:

First full day of the festival

2006-07-20T14:56:00.000-05:00

Steve Garrett, Belmont's Young Adult pastor gave a challenging message this morning. He really has a gift of involving the audience in the message. Praise God, it's been a sweet day. I'm physically tired but there have been good moments of minstry today. I prayed with two Bulgarians this morning, Nely and Stasi. They had such pure hearts and you could really tell they were blessed by the time of ministry. Jesse Parker prayed with me this morning. At 16, she has more wisdom than most adults I know. It was great to partner with her and to hear the Lord move through her prayers.

My first day of teaching went well, but it was difficult to say the least. I've had a lot of contact with the Bulgarians this trip. There were two in my freedom prayer class and the material that I taught was so foreign to them, it was very difficult for them to understand. The words didn't translate, and the concept of a personal God is so far from their worldview. So I'm hoping tomorrow that we can go a little deeper. On the exciting side, we have a freedom prayer session with a beautiful Hungarian girl tomorrow scheduled for one o'clock. That's 6 am Nashville time, so if you are awake, please say a prayer for revelation and wisdom.

So many amazing people, so many who need Jesus, so many hungry hearts. Pray for the hunger to be filled with the love of Jesus, and for healing to occur in the hearts of the wounded. May you be blessed as you pray for me and for the Sozo festival participants. We love you!

Day three

2006-07-19T15:28:00.000-05:00

Jo Nopot (Good afternoon.) Wow, I can't believe that Tuesday and Wednesday have gone by so quickly. Here I am sitting at the edge of the Sugovica in a pub with wireless. It's ten p.m., I've been awake since 4 am, and I am still going strong. I haven't had a chance to update because I have been working security shifts. We have at least six people at all times patrolling the grounds of the festival. I even have a security vest, billy club flashlight, and mace . . . o.k., well maybe not mace, but a girl can dream, right?:)
Here's me in my security vest:

Let's see-where to begin, what to describe . . .
We had cherry soup for lunch yesterday. For those that heard my stories of my Hungary trip in 2003, you no doubt heard about the cherry soup. It was just as I remembered it, only a little colder. For the rest of you, cherry soup, apricot soup, and plum soup are common, here. It basically tastes like a fruit cobbler filling watered down to soup consistency. They serve it for lunch with fried meat and potatoes. YUM! Hey, don't knock it until you try it! :)

The crews worked late into the night last night to finish building the three stages and put up the flags around the ceiling. Today when we woke up, everything was in place! What a lot of hard work. Randy Morgan and Tami Walker are amazing leaders of this festival. I'm not sure how they do it, but they managed to wrangle 200 staff members in to Eastern Europe to turn an empty field into a world class music festival.
Randy in action:

Today the participants started arriving. Serbians, Croatians, Bosnians, Bulgarians, Romanians, Hungarians, and more. They are beautiful. My favorite part is when everyone sings a song together in their native tongue. It's Heaven! Today we sang Alleluia, The Lord God almighty Reigns . . . you know, the one that Michael W. Smith made famous. It was unbelievable. When the Dutch group sang, I started weeping tears of joy for the nations.

This morning I went to the open air market and bought some beautiful gladiolas for the stage. I love to be around the Hungarians in that setting. It's the heart of the city. I really got a sense of what it must be like for arab women or latin american women to try to operate in our country without being able to speak the language. No one could speak English at the market, and subsequently, I was ignored by most when I tried to purchase fruit and flowers. But then a couple of elderly women spent a few moments with me, picking out flowers and helping me purchase them. I loved it! I can't wait for the day that I live overseas for more than 10 days.

Tomorrow, the seminars begin. More of the participants arrive and the festival will be officially in full gear. Please continue to pray. I am nervous about teaching. I'm tired. And I know that tomorrow will be intense, both physically and spiritually. I want these young people to grasp the concepts of freedom prayer. I want them to understand what it means to be free in Christ from bondage. I can't wait to see them get it. Thank you for praying for me. I simply couldn't do this without you and your prayers. Blessings and love.

Beautiful Baja

2006-07-17T07:57:00.000-05:00

We're here! I'm so happy to be back. I forgot how charming Eastern Europe is. The weather is unbelievable! It's about 75 and there's a cool breeze blowing from the river, "the Sugovica."

The Sugovica feeds out of the Danube which hit dangerously high flood levels this past spring. There is some evidence of the flooding around the city. There some construction around the town square that looks like it may be in progress because of water damage. On a good note, the flooding has caused everything to be very green and lush this summer. There are roses and wildflowers in bloom all over the island. I sure am having fun-I love meeting so many people from all of these nations. I've met a 9 member team from Northern Ireland (LOVE their accents!), a group of guys from Nottingham, England, a Romanian/Norwegian newlywed couple, and many more. The staff is all here. This year, the Sozo festival has 200 staff and is expecting around 1000 participants. Please pray for the group of Moldovians that are trying to come to the festival. We aren't sure whether they will be able to make it due to problems with visas. We're believing for a miracle to help them cross the border into Hungary. I will be on the security team helping to keep the area safe for everyone. I'm heading to my first shift now. Enjoy your day, and God bless you for partnering and praying for the Sozo festival.

Here are some photos:
A very pretty Hungarian building

The Colloquium where we stay

Staff Worship with 14 nations represented (when the participants arrive, we're expected 25 nations to be in attendance.)

The team at the airport in Amsterdam

A Hungarian statue

Staff gathering for breakfast. The girl in front is my roommate Katelyn Whitman

Katelyn and Adam Whitman-my adopted brother and sister for the trip

Self-portrait of a very happy girl

tulips and sunrises at midnight

2006-07-15T23:47:00.000-05:00

Well, we've arrived in Amserdam. (he T is not working very well on tthis PC, so bear with me.)
Flights were unevenful. The first team has arrived safe and sound. Second team should be flying through Frankfurt in a few hours.
Thanks for all of your prayers. All of us have begun the bonding process. :)
I sat in between two very large men (who were not from Nashville) on the leg from Deroit to here. I felt like the middle of an oreo. I didn't sleep, but I did get to watch Monsters Inc, and V for Vendetta. Sounds like fun doesn't it? I wish you were all here. While you sleep soundly in your beds, the sun has come up here in he Neherlands with a deep orange tint. More updates to come . . . we should be arriving in Budapest sometime this afternoon. Hopefully I'll be able o updae from there with a T that works.

LOVE YOU ALL. THANKS FOR PRAYING.

The gift of life

2006-07-12T09:56:00.000-05:00

Nothing is more fun to celebrate than a baby!!
And my friends have given us much to celebrate about, with newborns and on-the-ways!!
Praise God!
Congratulations to my friends Shelley and Justin, Kris and Angie, and Jen and Nathan!
Jen is six week pregnant with a rock star baby.

Shelley's first baby is a boy; sweet Lewis Christian. Snips and snails,
And puppy dog tails, that's what little boys are made of.

And I don't have a picture of Kris and Angie's bundle of joy, but you can be assured she is absolutely beautiful! Sugar and spice,
And everything nice, that's what little girls are made of!

Congratulations to my dear friends!

Bearing fruit in due season

2006-07-11T10:50:00.000-05:00

Psa. 52:8 But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.

God does this thing with us at times. It's a theme thing-where He emphasizes a word, verse, number, or phrase to us over and over again. When this happens, I'm convinced He is inviting us to seek that theme out and discover more of Him. For me, right now-it's the olive tree. The olive tree has popped up in conversation, books, pictures, and verses that I'm reading.
Now, the truth is, I don't know that much about the olive tree yet, so Wikipedia was a good place to start.

Wiki told me that the olive tree is one of the strongest trees alive. And there are olive trees in the Garden of Gethsemane today that have been there since the time of Christ. No way!!

And the Psalmist says that he is like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God. In the house . . . like, does he mean inside the house? How big are these trees anyway? After several centuries of growth, I wonder how big they get? Regardless, if I'm flourishing inside the house of God, and I'm an olive tree, you better believe I'm producing some yummy fruit for Jesus to put on his salads! How cool is that?

I love the thought of being a tree inside a house. Makes me think of a small tree like a bonsai. Bonsais are COOL! Not to mention, incredibly valuable. I am valuable to Jesus-so are you! So go ahead, eat an olive and remember that God's unfailing love endures forever.

Olive you, Jesus.

Welcome to my blog

2006-07-10T08:21:00.000-05:00

Figured I might get a few new visitors today since I handed out cards yesterday at church with the blog address on them.
Welcome to the newbies and thanks for stopping by! I'm honored to have you reading and I hope you enjoy the updates about the Sozo festival.

I spent some time this weekend with a dear friend who is a missionary, Joseph Watson. He gathered a few of us together to teach a little bit of what God has been downloading to him.

What a wealth of information really! I felt electric for close to twelve hours after leaving the group dynamic. My intention is to post some of the nuggets of golden wisdom this morning, but there is so much . . .where do I begin?

Start at the very beginning a very good place to start . . .

1. God will speak to me in ways I do not expect Him to speak. He will not be boxed by me, even if I choose to try ( I highly recommend not trying).

2. "Know thyself" : No, it's not Scripture--it's Socrates. But it's still a great idea. Since God created everything that is within you; your passions, your giftings, and your callings--you will be at your best for God when you understand who you are in Him and how he wired you. Maybe the greek philosopher's phrase should be extended to "Know thyself to honor God." Of couse, in Latin, that might not fit above the doorway of the oracle's kitchen. However, I'm convinced that Neo would have been less confused and understood his journey more if he had a loftier goal.

3. Leadership is less about leading than I thought it was and more about serving. Less about sitting down with a friend to talk about Jesus and more about sitting in the lap of Jesus. Less about giving away my time to worthy ministries and more about spending time in the Word. Less about being in the spotlight and more about being like the Light of the World.

Precious Jesus, teach us to be like you. Have a great day, my friends. And blessings to you today.

ferris wheels and friday

2006-07-07T15:58:00.000-05:00

You know it's Friday when you feel fried and wired at the same time.
One week from today I'll be packing for Hungary. My flight leaves at 10:30 a.m. Saturday the 15th. All of my support has come in, including some gifts for spending money. How sweet the Lord is to us! I'll come back a little plumper from the amazing Hungarian ice-cream. :) Don't cringe, ladies-because you'd gain it too, if you had just one taste of that sweet, delectable stuff. YUMMMY!

I'm just bouncing off the walls, really. Everything is happening so fast! Hungary in one week/Boston in six. I feel like a kid on a ferris wheel for the very first time. I'm looking out on the world around me and I'm amazed at how far I can see.

The perfectly imperfect

2006-06-01T09:36:00.000-05:00

Ever had a day that started bad? The moment I entered my day I realized that yesterday's mistakes was bringing today's misery. I want to scream. I want to blame it on somebody else. But it's not anyone else's fault. It's mine. And I can't do anything to get out of it. I should just admit the mistake. Say I'm sorry. Correct what's wrong. Learn for next time. That's the healthy process. But my flesh is kicking around inside me making all kinds of excuses. I don't particulary want to admit my failure to anyone, especially not the person I have to admit it to. It's not even that the mistake was that big of a deal. I just don't want to admit that I'm imperfect. God help me. I'm flesh and bone trying to be spirit and water which is making today just seem perfectly imperfect.

Faith Rise Up

2006-05-25T09:31:00.000-05:00

Another $200 check came in the mail today for Hungary, bringing the total to $1530! Only $570 dollars to go! Wow. My faith is rising. If you'll indulge me, I want to tell you a story. On Sunday night, I gave my missions schpiel to the church and told them the amount that I needed to raise. The money started pouring in. I was so humbled. But it wasn't until one moment that I realized the depth, and the breadth of what was happening as people poured their money out to support me. An elderly lady walked up to me and put some money in my hand. Then she locked on to my eyes. What she said in those next seconds, I will never forget. "I wish I could come with you." I smiled and told her that I wish she could come with my as well. She never took her gaze away from my eyes. Matter of factly, she said-"But I can't."
No self-pity. No sadness. It was just a statement. She continued . . .
"My knees are bad. I can't go. That why I'm sending you."

Friends-my heart hit the floor. She has the wisdom. I have the energy. She has the experience. I have the opportunity. And she choose me to go in her place. With her money. With her heart. With her prayers. I lost it. She voiced it. But it is true for every person who is contributing with money and prayer. They are sending me to be their ambassador to the nations. Why it's my turn to go, I don't know. But it is. And I'm honored, I'm humbled, I'm undone by their generosity and the responsibility of it all. I'm completely undone. Somebody bring a mop-you'll need it to get me up off the floor.

Our provider

2006-05-24T10:06:00.000-05:00

there are times when the many faces of God appear to us. i am learning the face of the provider. $1330. what more can i say? gifts from those who are legs, arms, elbows. humbled. i am more than humbled to be on the receiving end. so humbled, that capital letters seem out of place. if the letters are small, maybe you'll get the sense of how small i feel right now. and how big God is. who am i? every perfect gift comes from above. watch your head.

Unity

2006-05-23T09:38:00.000-05:00

Getting ready for Sozo this summer has turned my attention to a desperate need for unity. Twenty nations+twenty languages+one festival=definite need for breaking down dividing barriers. I heard this old Russ Taff song on the radio this morning, only redone by Avalon. My heart swelled with the lyrics. Everything in me screamed "Yes-Unity-Yes!" Enjoy. I grew up on this song. It was great to hear it again!

WE WILL STAND

Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand
Why we pull away from each other so easily
Even though we’re all walking the same road
Yet we build dividing walls between
Our brothers and ourselves

But I, I don’t care what label you may wear
If you believe in Jesus you belong with me
The bond we share is all I care to see
And we can change this world forever
If you will join with me
Join and sing, sing

You’re my brother, you’re my sister
So take me by the hand
Together we will work until He comes
There’s no foe that can defeat us
When we’re walking side by side
As long as there is love
We will stand
The day will come when we will be as one
And with a mighty voice together
We will proclaim that Jesus
Jesus is King
And it will echo through the earth
It will shake the nations
And the world will see
See that

The time is here, the time is now
To take a stand, to make a vow
I won’t let go, you’re not alone
Now and forever we’ll sing together

If I Stand

2006-05-22T11:41:00.000-05:00

Rich Mullins wrote this song. I've loved it for close to two decades-it still stirs me. Today, it speaks to that deep place in me that knows that God is mine and I am His-and there is simply nothing else that I need to know.

I look forward to playing and singing with Rich in heaven. I'll probably have to stand in line.

If I Stand
--------

There's more that rises in the morning
Than the sun
And more that shines in the night
Than just the moon
It's more than just this fire here
That keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger
Than this room

And there's a loyalty that's deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the giver
Of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

There's more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean
Than the tide
There's a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's
When her baby's at her side

And there's a loyalty that's deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegence
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things

And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

Hungary, how I love thee, let me count the ways.

2006-05-11T17:45:00.000-05:00

In July, I'm leaving for Hungary. I'll be teaching a Freedom prayer seminar at the Sozo Festival. I can't wait to be in Eastern Europe again. The last time I was there was in the summer of 2003. It was my first international mission trip. I remember stepping off the plane in Budapest. Immediately, I began to weep. I was so overwhelmed by the sheer excitement of finally seeing the other side of the world. Since then, I've traveled to Canada, Ecuador, and St. Martin. But nothing can compare to that first moment on foreign soil. Eastern Europe is such an amazing place. The people are so beautiful to me. I can't wait to go back and be a part of their lives again.

Soon, I will be posting a paypal button on the blog. If you'd like to contribute to the costs of my trip, that would be wonderful. And if you would pray for me, that would be even better.

The dates: July 15-25
The amount God will provide: $2100

More details coming in a few days . . .

Boston in the fall

2006-04-17T10:59:00.000-05:00

the announcement:

I've been told that New England is amazing when the leaves turn. Ask me in September if it's true, 'cause baby, I'm Boston-bound!!

When I applied to Emerson, I never thought I'd get accepted. But here I am, acceptance letter in hand, butterflies in my stomach, and a bullet between my teeth as I sign loan papers. I'm really going. How cool is that?! Master of Arts in Global Marketing Communications and Advertising. It sounds very "denise," doesn't it?

the ulterior motive:

For the first time in a long time, I'm excited about it. There's no need in Nashville to be radical, bold, daring in my faith. Not when 98% of the people I interact with on a daily basis ......believe the very same basic things that I do. But Boston doesn't wear the Bible around the waist like a shiny cowboy buckle. And, the gay issue is one I've never been completely comfortable discussing. Moreover, Emerson is not a Christian school. It's highly likely that 98% of the people I will meet in that Northern city of snow and ice will be spiritually deplete and internally desperate for a loving God, and all the while, intentionally opposed to any notion of discussing the only one who could fulfill their deepest desires. And what will I do with that? Will I walk around the city with my mouth shut and my eyes wide? Or will I be bold, fearless even, while wooing them with the love of my sweet Savior. Sadly, evangelism will be as out of place in Boston as it is in Nashville, but I fear for very different reasons.

the iris and the angel:
It blooms purple in my yard. I forgot how beautiful and under-appreciated the iris is. Even I, who love the flower, forgot its embodied beauty. Until it revealed itself fresh and new under an April sun. Now I can't keep my eyes off of it. So it goes with my friendships. I have only four months until I leave. And I've forgotten just how deeply beautiful my friends are. Under the April sun, with time pressing me, I am deeply aware of the ones I love and how they are the beauty of Christ embodied to me. They bloom purple in my heart.

She spreads her wings behind the flower, ready to fly. As if the beauty of the iris gives her strength to take flight. She is stone. I am not. I spread my wings behind the love of my friends and family ready to take flight. I am strong for I am well shadowed by beauty.

2006-01-04T15:47:00.000-06:00

"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."
-Antoine de Saint Exupery
--------------------------
Excerpt from chapter 6 of The Little Prince by the same:

"I am very fond of sunsets. Come, let us go look at a sunset now."

"But we must wait," I said.

"Wait? For what?"

"For the sunset. We must wait until it is time."

At first you seemed to be very much surprised. And then you laughed to yourself. You said to me:

"I am always thinking that I am at home!"

Just so. Everybody knows that when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France.

If you could fly to France in one minute, you could go straight into the sunset, right from noon. Unfortunately, France is too far away for that. But on your tiny planet, my little prince, all you need do is move your chair a few steps. You can see the day end and the twilight falling whenever you like . . .

"One day," you said to me, "I saw the sunset forty-four times!"

And a little later you added:

"You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad . . ."

"Were you so sad, then?" I asked, "on the day of the forty-four sunsets?"

But the little prince made no reply.
------------------------------

How many sunsets are left to view?

If 44 sunsets bring you glory Lord, then I will watch them all. If the removal of much somehow makes men look at you in awe then I will surrender myself to the process. Less of me, More of you. 45, 46, 47 . . .

Ending well and beginning strong.

2005-12-27T11:11:00.000-06:00

Five days left of this year of sorrows. Two things I ask myself: 1) Did I respond in peace to the maelstroms around me?
2) Have I learned the lessons set before me to learn while I traversed the valleys?

I've never looked forward to a coming year with so much anticipation. Or is it pure relief I feel?

feliz navidad

2005-12-21T10:56:00.000-06:00

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas. To all my Ecuadorian friends, feliz navidad! I wish we could be together to celebrate. I truly hope you enjoy the holidays with your families. I miss your smiling faces and miss hanging out with you.

Blessings to you. I'm praying for you all!
Denise

As You Wish

2005-12-15T10:58:00.000-06:00

Sing we noel once more

Christmas in high school meant choir concerts and festive musical celebrations. My town was known for it's solid musical education program, of which I was a lucky recipient. I loved dressing up in my choir uniform and performing for our town. The top group in our school sang a carol called "Sing we noel once more." I only remember a few of the words. But I loved that song. It moved me in ways I can't explain. The lyrics were about a bird and shepards singing to Jesus. Growing up in Michigan also meant snow. Tennessee just doesn't get the same kind of white that the Great Lakes bring. Oh, the white snow would sometimes be so bright, it would blind you. And it was so beautiful. Today, I feel nostalgic as I think of snow, choral music, and the love of Jesus. I am so grateful for His abiding love. His sweet melody plays in our hearts all year, but around Christmas it plays a little louder. Can you hear it? So today, I sing noel once more to my Jesus and know that His love is perfect. I don't want gifts of any value. All I want is HIM.
Sing we noel once more.

2005-11-16T17:11:00.000-06:00

The delicate balance between life and life.

2005-11-03T12:33:00.000-06:00

My friend Amy told me I should keep blogging even though I'm not in Ecuador anymore. So here they are, my ragged thoughts on the past month:

My roommate and dear friend was in a terrible motorcycle accident on October 15th. She almost lost her life on this earth. The event has affected me in so many ways. I've lost friends to unexpected death before--but I've never fought for a life in prayer so much as I fought for Michelle. She hung precariously between our tangible world and heaven for hours and days. When the doctors and nurses originally wheeled her by me, IT occurred. A defining moment in my life. You know the kind. The kind of moment where all the earth stands still and everything you knew before no longer makes sense. It all changes in an instant--and the only thing left when the insignificant concerns of life pass away is the solid rock of Jesus Christ. I stood on that rock--all alone in the trauma unit awaiting word on her condition--and did not fall.

When they wheeled her by, I saw her face and her broken body and didn't even recognize her except for her blonde hair. I remember praying that she would live--but hoping that God would mercifully take her home if her injuries were going to leave her unable to communicate, move, or live a fairly normal life. The sight of her broken body broke my heart. Even as I type this, the hurt is still so fresh and raw in me that I can barely describe it.

But then--there's the reality of the power of God at work around me. Healing, restoring, bringing new life. Michelle is miraculously recovering. Her family is being molded and brought into closer unity than before the accident. My dad and I have drawn in closer together since the accident. My spirit has been softened and made more aware of the precious gifts God has given me. And I'm less ashamed to live--really live. Beauty from ashes.

There is no substitute for a cold splash of traumatic circumstances to shock your spirit into immediacy and desperation before the Lord. I am living the meaning of coming "boldly before His throne . . .to find mercy and grace in time of need. (Heb. 4:16)"

I find myself caught somewhere between grateful tears and righteous anger almost daily right now. Time will go by--and these ragged feelings will fade. And the suffering I've watched Michelle's family endure will be a distant memory. I will remember however, the calm hand of our loving Father-holding me up when I felt like crumbling to the floor. I will remember the steely, God-given, gut assurance I had that Michelle would live and not die. I will remember the way the trauma unit felt--full of fear and uncertainty--and pray for families who are still waiting for word of their loved ones in that waiting room. I will remember the way God has redeemed and restored so many moments of the last two weeks and five days. He is faithful, soveriegn, and in control. And I will praise His name forever.

This is something I wrote--just days after Michelle's accident:

Twinkling blue eyes
They wheeled you by
I cried
I didn’t know you
But for your golden hair
Circling your head like a halo

I don’t ask why.
I only pray
For your complete restoration.
The why fades away as I live out
That God is soveriegn.

What destiny you must have
To accomplish
For God’s hand to keep you
And protect you from
The enemy of your soul

Struggle not
Struggle not
No struggling
Fare well and rest peaceful
My friend-I speak peace to your spirit

Twinkling blue eyes
They wheeled you by
I cried
Though you didn’t look alive
I knew your spirit
Soaring above your circumstance.

Double rainbow over Quito

2005-10-10T16:53:00.000-05:00

Took this picture the last night I was in Quito. A double rainbow reminded me of God's promises and double portion blessings for those who ask.

Food Processor

2005-10-10T08:46:00.000-05:00

Last night, the Ecuador team got together at the Hilton's home for dinner to process the trip. The team feels like family to me now. After spending a whole week together in Ecuador, I kind of got attached to them. It was good to see everyone and exchange hugs. We had a great time of testimonies and processing. The stories that are coming back from Iglesia El Batan are indicating that the Lord is still doing a good work there. It's good to know that after our work is done, the Holy Spirit stays behind us to continue His purposes and make clear His destinies in the lives of everyone that we encountered.

This trip has had such an impact on me. My world-view is bigger, my heart is expanded, and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I can't wait to take another mission trip. Maybe next time, I'll go to Argentina, or New Zealand, or Amsterdam, or Romania, or Hong Kong. The possibilities are endless.

So the relevant question is . . . where do you want to go? What country and culture is calling out to you? I pray that you will be willing to be sent out and experience all that God has for you. You have no idea what God will do throgh you until you are willing to go. May God bless you and keep you and make His face shine on you today as brightly as the Ecuadorian sun.

Love
Denise

For better or worse

2005-10-08T21:08:00.000-05:00

Wow. What a day! I watched two friends tie the knot this afternoon. What a blessing to watch God join two people together for life. I love the "for better or worse" wedding vow. We make commitments in life all the time. We make all kinds of commitments. Commitments to ourselves, to family, to co-workers, and to God. Each commitment has the potential to bring about difficult and wonderful circumstances. But we are committed just the same. And when times get tough-we can't just bail. Just like what's happening with my mom right now. Times are tough with her treatments, but just because it's hard doesn't mean that we are giving up. No-in fact, we are pressing in even more to God and to each other to make it through. For better or worse. For best or something less. That's really what that vow means: Whether things are the best they can be, or less than the best, the commitment remains unwavering. No feelings involved. No what ifs or what would have been. Just a constant knowing that the commitment is forever, regardless of the wavering circumstances. Praise God that when we are brought into a relationship with Jesus, Jesus says to us, "For better or worse." He doesn't give us conditions. He says "Forever, I will love you. Forever, I will be with you. No matter what comes our way. It's a done deal." Oh, I love that. Thank you Lord for your commitment to us. For better or worse.

One foot in the southern hemisphere

2005-10-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

I feel like I'm still standing on the equator. I have one foot in the States and one in Ecuador. How can it be after only one week in Ecuador, I am so taken with that country? It's been a struggle to work and to concentrate. But God is faithful-and I am grateful for the experience, however tumultous the aftershocks may be. I've been looking online for a way to learn Spanish. Obviously, day classes are out of the question for me. But there has got to be a place I can learn here in Nashville. Anybody have any ideas?

Missing my Ecuadorian friends and family-
Denise

ps. I gave out the wrong musico a musico email address. The correct address is: denise.johnson@musicoamusico.org
Please pass it around to anyone in Quito who wants to contact me.

I left my heart in Quito

2005-10-04T15:52:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm home. It's great to come back to a hot shower, and water that I can drink from the faucet. But honestly, I've been scheming all day about how I can move there. How would I sell my house, what would I do with Nala, and what about my job? Where would I work? I don't know Spanish. But oh, Ecuador was so wonderful. Last night I kept dreaming about all of the people that I met and the places that I saw. As the plane flew out over the city, I just cried--wishing I could have stayed at least a week longer. I was just starting to build wonderful relationships with new friends. I miss them all already. Gabrielle, Carlito, Sylvia, Oswaldo, Gustavo, Adriana, and so many more. I can't say thank you enough to all of them for their love and friendship. If anyone in Quito finds my heart, could you please send it back to me?

Denise

Iglesia El Batan Worship Band

2005-10-01T08:53:00.000-05:00

Last night, the local worship band led. Oh my goodness. They were amazing. The Latin salsa beat and style is so beautiful and when it's directed towards the Lord it takes on a whole new level of beauty. Gustavo is leading with Christian, one of the other pastors played keys. Giovanni is the guy singing backup. The girls are all members of the church and have been a very active part of everything this week. I wish I had a sound clip to include. The music is to die for!

Jonathan-our Costa Rican sound guru

2005-10-01T08:46:00.000-05:00

Sweet Francesca

2005-10-01T08:43:00.000-05:00

I feel at home. So many Francis's and Francesca's here. My middle name has given me an open door and common ground with a few of them.

Paulina-my little sister in de Espiritu (Spirit)

2005-10-01T08:37:00.000-05:00

Thank God for translators

2005-10-01T08:33:00.000-05:00

Really, other countries put us to shame. So many of the Ecuadorians are bilingual. This girl translated the harmony workshop for me. The other two girls have been translating for us all week for services and classes.

Songwriting class

2005-10-01T08:27:00.000-05:00

The guy standing next to me is Ramiro, my translator. He's awesome. Yesterday, Rob Still made a joke in class that didn't translate into Spanish. And Ramiro told the class in Spanish "He just told a bad joke-so just laugh" and they did! It was hysterically funny. Rob thought that they got the joke. :)

Rocking out with Evangelismo

2005-10-01T08:15:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon, right after lunch, we heard some music coming from the auditorium. So I ran down there. I hate to miss anything. Evangelismo-a rock band of teenagers were plugged in and totally jamming for the Lord. It was awesome. The faces of the teens in the auditorium had lit up! This was their music and their friends. And the guys were GOOOOOD!! Wow. This is why we are here, to help them further their skills and grow as Christians and musicians.

We love Ecuador

2005-09-30T13:33:00.000-05:00

Spontaneous Worship

2005-09-30T13:31:00.000-05:00

Musico a Musico Band

2005-09-30T13:22:00.000-05:00

Volcan and Montana

2005-09-30T10:10:00.000-05:00

Volcano and Mountains. Quito is one of the highest cities in the world. Built around the Andes mountains-the elevation alone takes your breath away. The air is thin, and there is a significant amount of polution. About once every four years, the volcano which is still active, blows ash about two inches thick over the whole city. They say it's like a layer of black snow.

Gustavo-worshipper extraordinare!

2005-09-30T10:01:00.000-05:00

Gustavo is the worship pastor. Oh what a sweet heart this man has! His English is very good, and he has worked so hard to bring this congreso to Quito. I asked him last night if he's slept lately, and he said, "umm, un poco." Which I think means very little. I can't tell you how amazing it is to see the passion of these people. They want so badly to be excellent at worshipping. They are so serious about bringing glory to the Lord.

He and I had a wonderful conversation last night at dinner about literature, music, and the Holy Spirit. Oh how can I explain how I feel? Ecuador has stolen my heart.

Rat ta tat tat

2005-09-30T09:54:00.000-05:00

Kevin Jones has a gift. He is sharing it with a class full of Ecuadorians. The sticks fly, each student attentive to the teacher, so hungry for every little rhythm. It is an unbelievable sight to watch these students learn and grow as musicians. When I walked into the class, I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit as Teacher to these students. Pray for each of us as we teach our specialities and pray that the students would soak up every ounce of teaching. As they soak up wisdom, the Lord will build new songs and new dreams in their hearts. Praise you Jesus. Restore the worship and creativity of this nation. Bless your name-oh most High.

Denise

The heart of servants

2005-09-30T09:44:00.000-05:00

Since we've arrived, we have been selflessly served by a group from Iglesia alianza el Batan (our host church). This is just one example of a meal that we have eaten. At each meal, we sit down to a table with fine china, fresh flowers, and white linen tablecloths. They set out their best for us. We are overwhelmed by their servant hearts. I'm crying as I type this entry. I can't help but want to be more and more of a servant. The heart of Jesus is servant leadership. I see these Ecuadorians doing the ministry of Jesus. We are here to minister to them, but we are the ones receiving the blessings!

Ecuadorian Folklore Band named "Roots"

2005-09-29T13:18:00.000-05:00

Hearing the voice of God (ML's class)

2005-09-29T10:53:00.000-05:00

Classes have begun!

2005-09-29T10:48:00.000-05:00

Classes have begun!

2005-09-29T10:27:00.000-05:00

We are full scale into class this morning. I am currently sitting in Michael Mellett's vocal technique class. With Cathy at the piano, Michael is standing up front of the auditorium, speaking spanish, and showing about 50-60 students proper breathing techniques. All ages are represented. I've seen young children as young as 10 or 12 sitting in these classes-as well as a 70 year old man. The 70 year old told me that the reason he is here is because in eternidad (eternity) siempre (forever) he will praise Hesus Christo-so he wants to be as excellent as he can so as to please His God (Dios).

The students' hearts are so wide-open to learn. Each one has a desire to learn and grow as a creative person. They are hungry for teaching. I feel so privileged to be here. As does the whole team.

Last night's worship went well. Michael said it best-he felt like we poked a few holes in the floor of heaven, but didn't quite reach the level of pure worship that we would have liked. Overall, it was great for a first evening of four evenings of worship. It will grow and expand over the next few evenings. As the students get more comfortable with us and as we get more comfortable worshipping in Espanol.

Ok, the pictures are my view in the auditorium of the Vocal Technique class, and ML's class on Hearing the Voice of God. I sat in on her class to intercede for her as there tends to be more distraction from the enemy in a class of that nature.

Thank you for praying.The team is doing well. No sickness, no major problems. We are growing in unity each day. I know it's because of your prayers that things are going so smoothly. Muchas Gracias! We are so grateful for your prayers. Pray that the students would recieve every bit of teaching that they need. And that the Spirit would prompt their hearts as he leads them into their creative destinies.

Love you all
Denise

Ecuadorian Views

2005-09-28T21:16:00.000-05:00

Students at the Cancion School of worship

2005-09-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

The first day of school

2005-09-28T08:55:00.000-05:00

Remember your first day of school? The excitement and anticipation were spine-tingling. That's how I feel today. I'm so excited for the students to arrive. I'm thrilled to be here, meeting new friends-and building new relationships.

Today, we rehearse as a full band-including our two members from Lima, Peru. Then tonight, our opening session begins at 7 pm. We'll worship with a folklorian Ecuadorian band. Then we'll hear a message in Spanish from the senior pastor.

Off to rehearse. All my love. The picture is some girls from the Cancion worhsip school where we led worship last night.

Adios!
Denise

Casa Sol-our hostel

2005-09-27T14:01:00.000-05:00

The Equator

2005-09-27T13:58:00.000-05:00

Safe Arrival in 0 Latitude

2005-09-27T13:56:00.000-05:00

We are here! Safe and sound in Ecuador. So grateful for the Lord's traveling mercies. We had a little trouble getting a team member; Jonathan into the country as he's Costa Rican-and the Ecuadorian government needed more paperwork. In the end, all arrived and the whole team is now gathered ready for the conference.

This morning we went sight seeing to the Equator. We literally stood in two hemispheres at the same time.

Ecuador is beautiful. We are high in the Andes mountains. It's cold, and somewhat rainy. The people are amazing. The Latin Men are distracting me. :) And God has already shown himself to be so faithful to us.

I'm overwhelmed by the privilege of being here to serve and to love. The mere sight of foreign soil makes me cry. I am just so grateful that God would use me-little old me.

Our hostel is quaint and sufficient. Cathy Heiser and I are rooming together. The bed was a welcome sight last night after traveling all day.

This afternoon we rehearse, and then tonight we'll lead a praise and worship service at a school of music. Tomorrow, the conference begins. Pray for traveling mercies for each participant. That the plans and schemes of the enemy would be thwarted in their lives as they travel here to Quito.

Pray for our energy. Some of the team is struggling with the altitude. It's so high that it can be hard to catch your breath. I feel great, thanks to all of your prayers. Pray for unity for the team. Pray that we work as a cohesive unit. Pray that God moves and breathes on Quito. Pray blessings for this church. El Batan, the church that is our host, has welcomed us with open arms. Pray that God will return their time and hospitality 100 times over.

Pray for my heart, as I feel so tender towards this country and the people. I have been on the edge of tears since we arrived. I just love to see God in them, and I don't think I'll ever want to leave.

The Ecuadorians are truly beautiful. I thank God for bringing me here. And I thank God for you.

All my love,
Denise

Last day at work

2005-09-23T10:59:00.000-05:00

Well, it's my last day here for a while. I'm trying to wrap everything up so that I can leave for Ecuador and not worry about work while I'm gone. Hopefully, everything will operate smoothly til I get back. Isn't it great that God allows us to work? You know so many times I find myself complaining about what I do. But it's much better than watching Montel all day, or worse, stuck searching for a job, or even worse still, be doing a job that doesn't pay enough to provide for all my needs. I'm grateful to God for this career. Besides, it's much more fun to be happy about my job, than to complain about it. Novel idea, I know . . . Deep thoughts by Denise Johnson.

Pray that I get everything packed this weekend, and don't leave anything out.

On a fun note: I'm going to see STOMP tonight with my dear friends from church! I'm so excited. I've always wanted to see STOMP. I've heard it's fabulous.

OK friends, I'm off to my mom's chemo treatment.

Hugs, and thanks for reading!
Denise

Nala and Kelty are holding the fort down until I return!

2005-09-22T08:48:00.000-05:00

Ecuadorian Flag

2005-09-22T08:38:00.000-05:00

5 more days!

2005-09-21T10:00:00.000-05:00

Only five more days until I leave for Ecuador! I'm so thrilled. I really can't wait!
I'll be singing background vocals for the Musico a Musico worship band during a conference held in Quito, the capitol of Ecuador. I'll also be co-teaching a class on song writing with Rob Still, and helping Michael Mellett during his harmony workship.

For more info about what Musico a Musico (Musician to Musician) does, please take a look at the website. Basically, we are equipping Latin American worshippers with everything that they need to worship and lead worship. The conference is a three day event with teaching during the day and worship services at night.

Our team has 16 members. I'm honored to be a part of it. I'm also so excited to share this journey with you. Thanks for reading and may you be blessed!

Denise